Fashion Week Berlin 2008: A Diary

The following are entries from a diary I kept during the course of one day of Berlin’s 2008 fashion week.  The author, over the course of the day became increasingly drunk and the entries became increasingly erratic and difficult to read.  This is the best I have been able to come up with from the material I was provided.

FRIDAY JULY 18

12:18 – Entered the lounge area which is full of square white seats which have a scattering of people doing a lot of looking around sitting on them.  There is a preponderance of tall slim girls with sharply angled faces mingling about.  I grab a beer from the Veltin’s girls.  I have a feeling they will be seeing a lot more of me over the course of the weekend.  When I come back with my beer I see that the magazine I set on my seat is now being read by the lady who was sitting across from me and a man has taken me seat.  I give up and go to the media center to plug in my video camera battery.

12:21 – the media center is a shoebox full of sweaty journalists on laptops.  I get out of there as fast as possible.

12:26 – Just realized I only have 4 photos left on my Holga, need to go buy film.  

13:06 – Have just sat down inside the fashion show area proper with Philip.  They took our fresh beers away at the door on the way in.  Drat.

13:13 – I can’t figure out if there are a bunch of girls who look the same or if they are just exceptionally fast changers.  Breast size seems to average an a-cup.  Expressions seem to average from blank to bored.  They kind of lean back so that their front legs look kind of like the front legs of horse kind of prancing out in front of the body.

13:15 – People just started clapping.  Ah, the show is over.  

13:18 – So that’s it.  Our first fashion show.  Am slightly underwhelmed.  Some girl is trying to get us to leave the catwalk area already as I write this.  I need a beer.

13:27 – Beer number 3.  Someone took my magazine again without asking.  A lot of milling around.

13:47 – Beer number 4.  Am bored.  Philip went to talk to the Swarovski girl and disappeared.  There is a guy wearing one of those thin headbands in his hair.  Color = teal.  I am wondering how much these girls get paid for dressing up like stewardesses and handing out energy drinks.  

14:14 – In the shuttle right now to go to “Premium”, whatever that is.  Hilarious that we are getting driven around the city.  We are with a Costa Rican and a German girl.  The Costa Rican works in investment banking and is talking about how she wants to go to “fabulous” parties.  I can’t imagine spending time alone with this girl.

14:29 – We are at the “Premium” exhibition.  Met two girls w/ wings who gave me an organic apple.  Organic = Biologique in German.

14:52 – Back in shuttle.  Looks like we might miss the next show.  French girl in car.

16:06 – Penkov show now.  We didn’t miss it because it actually has the girls standing still in two lines like Buckingham Palace guards with everyone just walking around them, checking them out.  I find this is actually a better way to view fashion then the quick walk up and down the catwalk.  Drinking champagne now.

16:18 – Decide to try and interview models at Philip’s urging.  I don’t expect them to respond, but in fact they seem to enjoy the break and most of them have a pretty good sense of humor.

16:32 – Philip was determined to steal a couple of the champagne glasses and now they are in my backpack where I am certain they will soon break into smithereens.  We are trying to get a shuttle and finally grab one but it turns out not to be going back to the main location.  

16:45 – See the very end of another show, which actually looked kind of nice since it was outside on some strange concrete structure.  Take off quickly to get to the front of the shuttle line.

17:33 – Beer number 8 or so.  Back in the lounge at this point which is getting quite packed; Philip has talked our way into some awards show thing which starts in half an hour.

17:45 – One of Philips friends is spotting celebrities and then we are interviewing them.  My interviews tend a bit toward the ridiculous as I have no knowledge of who these people actually are.

18:07 – I wrote beer number 8 a second time in my notebook.  This is a telling sign of my state of sobriety.  The show is about to start.

18:40 – My handwriting at this point is difficult to decipher.  If I remember correctly Philip and I managed to smuggle drinks into the show in order to avoid descending into anything resembling a semi-coherent state.

19:24 – My notes seem to revolve around having to go to the bathroom really badly and the announcer saying “Megacool!” repeatedly.  

*This is where the notes for the night end.  After the New Generation show ended the author and friends headed over to the Michalsky show, which was followed by the Michalsky party.  The author and friends were out of their collective gourds at this point and acting in a manner not unlike that of the common jackass.  The author was not prepared for an entire day of free drinks.

SATURDAY, JULY 19

The next day I skipped fashion week altogether except for a cameo appearance at the Premium party that night, which was, in fact, quite a lot of fun.

SUNDAY, JULY 20

Went to the Kai Kuhne show at 5pm, then hung around with Philip and Dino for the Vivian Westwood show which everyone seemed to be losing their shit over.  I am in no position to judge whether this shit losing is merited, but it did seem a bit excessive.  In the end I was not paying attention when they called us in, and, since they had overbooked, by the time I finally made my way to the entrance they had cut off the admissions.  So I got to hear about the show from Philip and Dino afterwards.  Apparently the models did some sort of pose-striking at the end of the catwalk, and at when it was over Westwood got a standing ovation.  So I guess all ended well for the Berlin fashion week.  And if there was a Westwood afterparty we were not able to catch scent of it, which is probably for the best.  

All in all, an enjoyable time was had, and I must recommend fashion week to any group of friends who are looking to visit a foreign city.  Just apply for your fake media credentials online and let the free drinks roll.