Copenhagen Fashion Week

It was an inauspicious beginning to Copenhagen Fashion Week.  Apparently our press passes were on a press bus that was traveling around the city somewhere.  And this would have been annoying had we not been informed of the more annoying fact that our press passes were absolutely useless.

Clockwise from top left: Dino, Daniel, Philip and Jonathan

Apparently, getting accredited for Copenhagen fashion week (which I will call CFW from now on if it happens that I feel the need to call it by name again) means that you now have permission to contact all the shows you wish to attend yourself, and then they will check to make sure you are on the press list, and then grant you an invitation.  Which we hadn’t done.  We tried to explain that at Berlin Fashion week it was the shows themselves that had contacted us with invitations.  They pointed out that that was not how it worked at CFW and we couldn’t really find a way to disagree, so we took the injured pride route.  I think we dropped such classics as “we’re just not used to being treated like this,” alongside numerous unflattering and  mumbled comparisons to Berlin’s Fashion Week.

So, at this point we could do little but laugh (bitterly) about the fact that we were apparently going to get to see a grand total of zero fashion shows at the CFW which led to the unanimous and correct conclusion that it was time to go buy beer.

So, then, how did we end up going to see every single show on Saturday, including the “hot shit” Henrik Vibskov show and afterparty?  Well, I guess what we didn’t count on was how damn friendly and accommodating the Danish people are.  Or how much they apparently like Los Angeles and Mexico City.  Whatever it was this was how the conversations went (I decided to try calling up all of the show contacts as listed on the CFW website):

Me: Hello, is this (name of person listed as contact)?

Them: Yes.

Me: Hi, this is (my name) from Los Angeles and I was wondering if you might have any tickets left for your show tomorrow?

Them: Sure, who are you with?

Me: I am a freelance buyer for a boutique fashion store from Mexico City.  (Translation: I have a friend who is going to open a second hand clothing store in Mexico City)

Them: Oh, wow, great!

Me: Also I will be coming with four colleagues of mine from Berlin.  Can they also be put on the list?

Them: Sure, we look forward to seeing you.

And that was that.  What was perhaps the stranges/funniest/nicest moment was when after the Barbara i Gongini show (which was my favourite show by far) the woman that I had made my phone call with found me and apologized that she hadn’t recognized me when I had entered and put me and my “colleagues” in the front row where we were supposed to be.

Shots from Saturday

Other thoughts from the weekend which are temporally, not thematically, related:

1. Sterling airlines is crap.  The flight from Berlin is only about 40 minutes, but they were 40 uncomfortable hot minutes where they even charged for water.  This is the first time that I have been on an airline where I couldn’t even have a glass of water for free.  That should not be allowed.

2. Wooden floors in airports are not crap.  I only think I have seen them in Scandinavian countries, but they definitely give the airport a different feel.

3. I read in the International Herald Tribune that “The global television audience was estimated to surpass four billion viewers”, referring to the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.  I call (emphatically) complete bullshit on this figure.  As of July 2007 there were 6,602,224,175 humans on the planet earth.  There is no fucking way that over 4 billion of them watched the opening ceremonies.  In fact, I have not yet talked to a SINGLE person who watched the opening ceremonies.  I read an article a couple of years ago by a guy who did some simple math to prove that the Oscar’s in no way, shape, or form could draw the viewership of 1-2 billion, or whatever was claimed.  34 million (or about 10% of the population) of the humans in the US watched the opening ceremony, and although perhaps China had a higher percentage of viewers, the US is tied for first with the UK for most television watched.  And the UK drew 5 million (about 8% of their population).  India, also known as the second most populous nation on earth, has only won a total of 17 Olympic medals in its HISTORY – so how interested can they possibly be in the opening ceremonies?!  And 1.6 billion people on the planet live without electricity for Christ’s sake!

So saying over four billion people watched the opening ceremonies is not only wrong, it is fucking RIDICULOUS.  It is like a lie that a kid tells when they have no ability to comprehend proportion – it reminds me a bit of the time I showed a photo of myself in the cockpit of my uncle’s plane to my grade two class for show and tell and then went on to say that I had accidentally pressed a button (semi-plausible exaggeration) that started the plane (implausible, but perhaps buyable by a class of grade twos) and then we took off and flew down to the Antarctic and landed on the ice (the plane had skis on it at this point) and then flew back.  I still cannot believe that Mrs. Malenfant kept a straight face.

My excuse is that I was seven years old, but this is the International Herald Tribune for Pete’s sake.  If the percentage of people watching the opening ceremonies around the world were roughly equivalent to that of the US (very unlikely, but China could possibly make up for some of the countries dragging the percentage down) we would have a grand total of 660 million viewers.  I doubt that four billion people on earth even realize the Olympics have already started.

Sorry to belabor the point.

4. This is perhaps the single greatest invention I have seen this year.  I want to shake the man’s hand that designed this.  The sad thing was that we only saw one of them at the Copenhagen airport.  I love the idea of a whole airport full of people zipping around on these things.

And that’s all from Copenhagen Fashion Week.

Fashion Week Berlin 2008: A Diary

The following are entries from a diary I kept during the course of one day of Berlin’s 2008 fashion week.  The author, over the course of the day became increasingly drunk and the entries became increasingly erratic and difficult to read.  This is the best I have been able to come up with from the material I was provided.

FRIDAY JULY 18

12:18 – Entered the lounge area which is full of square white seats which have a scattering of people doing a lot of looking around sitting on them.  There is a preponderance of tall slim girls with sharply angled faces mingling about.  I grab a beer from the Veltin’s girls.  I have a feeling they will be seeing a lot more of me over the course of the weekend.  When I come back with my beer I see that the magazine I set on my seat is now being read by the lady who was sitting across from me and a man has taken me seat.  I give up and go to the media center to plug in my video camera battery.

12:21 – the media center is a shoebox full of sweaty journalists on laptops.  I get out of there as fast as possible.

12:26 – Just realized I only have 4 photos left on my Holga, need to go buy film.  

13:06 – Have just sat down inside the fashion show area proper with Philip.  They took our fresh beers away at the door on the way in.  Drat.

13:13 – I can’t figure out if there are a bunch of girls who look the same or if they are just exceptionally fast changers.  Breast size seems to average an a-cup.  Expressions seem to average from blank to bored.  They kind of lean back so that their front legs look kind of like the front legs of horse kind of prancing out in front of the body.

13:15 – People just started clapping.  Ah, the show is over.  

13:18 – So that’s it.  Our first fashion show.  Am slightly underwhelmed.  Some girl is trying to get us to leave the catwalk area already as I write this.  I need a beer.

13:27 – Beer number 3.  Someone took my magazine again without asking.  A lot of milling around.

13:47 – Beer number 4.  Am bored.  Philip went to talk to the Swarovski girl and disappeared.  There is a guy wearing one of those thin headbands in his hair.  Color = teal.  I am wondering how much these girls get paid for dressing up like stewardesses and handing out energy drinks.  

14:14 – In the shuttle right now to go to “Premium”, whatever that is.  Hilarious that we are getting driven around the city.  We are with a Costa Rican and a German girl.  The Costa Rican works in investment banking and is talking about how she wants to go to “fabulous” parties.  I can’t imagine spending time alone with this girl.

14:29 – We are at the “Premium” exhibition.  Met two girls w/ wings who gave me an organic apple.  Organic = Biologique in German.

14:52 – Back in shuttle.  Looks like we might miss the next show.  French girl in car.

16:06 – Penkov show now.  We didn’t miss it because it actually has the girls standing still in two lines like Buckingham Palace guards with everyone just walking around them, checking them out.  I find this is actually a better way to view fashion then the quick walk up and down the catwalk.  Drinking champagne now.

16:18 – Decide to try and interview models at Philip’s urging.  I don’t expect them to respond, but in fact they seem to enjoy the break and most of them have a pretty good sense of humor.

16:32 – Philip was determined to steal a couple of the champagne glasses and now they are in my backpack where I am certain they will soon break into smithereens.  We are trying to get a shuttle and finally grab one but it turns out not to be going back to the main location.  

16:45 – See the very end of another show, which actually looked kind of nice since it was outside on some strange concrete structure.  Take off quickly to get to the front of the shuttle line.

17:33 – Beer number 8 or so.  Back in the lounge at this point which is getting quite packed; Philip has talked our way into some awards show thing which starts in half an hour.

17:45 – One of Philips friends is spotting celebrities and then we are interviewing them.  My interviews tend a bit toward the ridiculous as I have no knowledge of who these people actually are.

18:07 – I wrote beer number 8 a second time in my notebook.  This is a telling sign of my state of sobriety.  The show is about to start.

18:40 – My handwriting at this point is difficult to decipher.  If I remember correctly Philip and I managed to smuggle drinks into the show in order to avoid descending into anything resembling a semi-coherent state.

19:24 – My notes seem to revolve around having to go to the bathroom really badly and the announcer saying “Megacool!” repeatedly.  

*This is where the notes for the night end.  After the New Generation show ended the author and friends headed over to the Michalsky show, which was followed by the Michalsky party.  The author and friends were out of their collective gourds at this point and acting in a manner not unlike that of the common jackass.  The author was not prepared for an entire day of free drinks.

SATURDAY, JULY 19

The next day I skipped fashion week altogether except for a cameo appearance at the Premium party that night, which was, in fact, quite a lot of fun.

SUNDAY, JULY 20

Went to the Kai Kuhne show at 5pm, then hung around with Philip and Dino for the Vivian Westwood show which everyone seemed to be losing their shit over.  I am in no position to judge whether this shit losing is merited, but it did seem a bit excessive.  In the end I was not paying attention when they called us in, and, since they had overbooked, by the time I finally made my way to the entrance they had cut off the admissions.  So I got to hear about the show from Philip and Dino afterwards.  Apparently the models did some sort of pose-striking at the end of the catwalk, and at when it was over Westwood got a standing ovation.  So I guess all ended well for the Berlin fashion week.  And if there was a Westwood afterparty we were not able to catch scent of it, which is probably for the best.  

All in all, an enjoyable time was had, and I must recommend fashion week to any group of friends who are looking to visit a foreign city.  Just apply for your fake media credentials online and let the free drinks roll.